Kara Swanson's Brain Injury Blog

September 22, 2013

Don’t Let Anyone Else Write Your Ending

Filed under: Uncategorized — karaswanson @ 11:24 pm

I had anticipated the series ending of Dexter all summer, knowing that, after eight years of Sundays, one of my favorite shows of all time was coming to an end.

All day long, it was in the back of my mind.  I felt a mixture of sadness and dread and disbelief, feeling like a dear and trusted friend was leaving me before I was ready to say goodbye.

I sat down to watch it, ticking off the minutes, hoping to love the ending and feel satisfied with how the writers wrapped up my beloved characters’ storylines.

I hated it.

I’m disappointed.  I don’t feel satisfied.  I would have done it differently.

And that’s what sometimes happens when we let others write our stories and choose our endings.

We end up thinking, “Geez, that’s not how I wanted it to turn out.”

From the time we are brain injured, there are seemingly a lot of people wanting to write our endings.  They sum us up, our damage and our losses and our futures.   They speak of windows of recovery that close and things we can no longer do. 

To hell with that.

Don’t let anyone else write your ending.

People are quick to sum you up, to label you, to darken your skies, to determine your fate and your end and your demise.

Don’t let ’em.

We hear all the time when people say of a relationship, “It’ll never last.”   Troubled kids hear echoes of, “He’ll never amount to anything.”   People are quick to doom business ideas and dreams and any type of thinking or choice which is different from their own.

Prove them all wrong.

We get one story to write and it’s ours alone.   We have the choice to waste time trying to write other people’s stories but, in the end, we are given just one to influence, to change and to determine.

It’s our ending to write.

People, I guarantee you, have written you off after your brain injury.  You are no longer like them, no longer who you were, no longer the same.

Make that difference better.   Brighter.  Higher.  

Write an ending they didn’t see coming.    Fill chapter after chapter, page after page, with WHATEVER MAKES YOU FEEL HAPPY AND LOVED AND SATISFIED AND VALUABLE.

Find your version of success.

Nobody has to love the ending you write except for you.   It’s your life.  Your story.   And you can bend it and transcend it however you choose.  

Brain injury lowers the bar and, for some, maybe that’s a relief. 

I call it a challenge.

A challenge to every one of us. 

Are you in?

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